See, I don’t really reblog and in fact, this is my very first time to reblog. You may wonder why. Or maybe you can ask yourself, why do you reblog posts? It’s either when it touched your heart or you could simply relate to it. That’s what happened to me right at this moment. 

These past few years, I’m not open to telling my love story in any of my social networking sites because I know any member of my family will be able to read it. I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend back then. If I will post something about my love life, it’s either I will make it private or I would state it in a third person point of view so that no one would notice it.

Three years ago, I had a “microrelationship” of two months with someone I know since high school. He may not remember this but we had a promise that we will meet again when I’m in college already. And so we did. I didn’t expect that he will be my boyfriend. For two months, we’ve been through ups and downs but most of the time that we’ve been together, they were full of love and happiness. But sad to admit, I had the feeling of being sick and tired of him, and of our relationship. It’s like there was no excitement already. You know that feeling when you see a person almost everyday and it don’t excite you anymore? That’s what I felt. I even got into the situation wherein I cheated on him. And so issues with this other girl had blossomed. I learned that he was having a communication with her through chat and saying I love yous to her. At first I felt jealous but as the days go by, I finally learned to accept. (During one of our first conversations, he told me that I’m one of the two girls who makes him feel that way.) What he’s feeling wasn’t right. Of course he needs to choose only one. But at one point, I told myself exactly those words what the girl in the picture above says. I pulled away because I think he don’t love me that much unlike the girl he always wanted. 

Let’s go back two years ago when we finally able to talk about the reason why I left him. Yes, I just left him without saying goodbye. I even changed my number. We didn’t have a formal breakup. I step-by-step adjusted myself not to talk to him and see him during those times that I already planned to pull myself away from him. He asked me, “Why did you leave me? I loved you.” I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t know that he loved me, loved me. He tried to reach me by asking my friends and I didn’t know that too. Maybe I was too selfish. I was afraid. I was so young. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t talk to him, I should have. I was so stupid. I was innocent. I was foolish. I was me, my younger self, my immature self. 

But I don’t believe in regret. I don’t regret anything that has happened to me because I had the choice and I chose to do it.

Right now, I still don’t have someone but I know he will come right in time when I’m ready. I moved on with that relationship of mine three years ago but I think what I’m looking for right now is the right relationship. The one that I won’t be sick and tired of the person and of the relationship. The one I’m likely to marry. This maybe cheesy, but it’s true.

(Source: thisishangingrockcomics, via meganbata)